


An Odd Curse

by GizmoTrinket



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bisexual John Watson, Crack, Curses, Don't copy to another site, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Sherlock Holmes, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Porn Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:15:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GizmoTrinket/pseuds/GizmoTrinket
Summary: Every time John Watson gets himself off he temporarily turns into a random piece of office equipment.





	An Odd Curse

**Author's Note:**

> Fin__amour over on twitter quoted [this tweet ](https://twitter.com/ao3simulator/status/1106227073797013504) and said: AU where every time John Watson gets himself off he temporarily turns into a random piece of office equipment ... and I just ran with it

When John masturbates he turns into office equipment.

It’s an odd curse but John’s learned to live with it. There’s not much else he can do, really. No one knew where the curse came from so he couldn’t get it removed. Ever since he first put his hand on himself and brought himself to orgasm he’d turned. Was he cursed at birth? Was it something he’d been cursed with as a child? Had he just been born this way? The way to remove it is different in each case, dangerous, and expensive. It isn’t worth it.

The device he turns into is always different and John, although annoyed that this happens at all, finds he likes to guess what he’ll turn into next. If he has to live with a curse anyway then he might as well find a way to gain some entertainment from it. This time it’s a laptop. He hadn’t guessed laptop, but he almost never guesses right. He sits there, waiting to turn back. He’s never sure when he’ll turn back but it’s usually about five minutes.

While resting there in postcoital innate state, Sherlock storms into his room. John is very glad that he had managed to finish. He is not quite sure how he would have been able to handle Sherlock storming into the room while he was in mid-process. He would need to talk to his flatmate about boundaries - again.

To his horror, Sherlock picks him up and carries him down the stairs and into his room. John is left only to fume at the absconding of what is, as far as Sherlock should be aware, John’s property - also again. Sherlock shuts the door and opens John up.

John is alarmed to find he can not only feel Sherlock’s fingers fly across his keys (and isn’t that nice) he can also “see” what Sherlock is searching.

And Sherlock is searching gay porn.

Well. That answers a few questions.

John is torn between mortified and fascinated.

When Sherlock untucks himself John closes his “eyes”.  He prays that he doesn’t turn back until Sherlock is done and leaves the room.

But Sherlock is taking his time, teasing himself, biting his lip, grunting, groaning, switching tabs between a blowjob, a three-way and shower sex.

John isn’t gay, he isn’t! But, he’s not exactly straight either. He had just finished himself and, being office equipment, he wasn’t able to get hard again anyway. But, god, the things Sherlock is looking at… and that it was Sherlock himself! It was enough to make a man desperate.

John had just given up not watching Sherlock when he can feel the itch in the back of his mind that signals he’s going to turn back.

Oh shit.

Oh no. Oh no!

Hold it in!

He can’t, he’d never tried not changing back and he can’t stop himself.

Sherlock squawks when he finds himself with a lap full of naked John Watson.

Sherlock finds this almost alarmingly more arousing than what he was watching. John’s eyes are dark, pupils dilated, lips red and moist, the cock between his legs half hard.

On edge as it was from his prior activities before being interrupted, the additional stimulation of a muscular and aroused army doctor splayed across him proves to be too much.  Sherlock arches his back and cries out, his come coating John, the pressure so great that it hit John on his chin.

John wipes his face and they stare at each other, both aghast for different reasons.

The ridiculousness of the situation gets to them and they burst out laughing. John’s giggles are uncomfortable at first but watching Sherlock’s huge grin and many chins change as he chuckles John laughs harder. Soon they’re both howling and Sherlock’s wiping his eyes.

John stops first, Sherlock’s movement under him sturring him and making him rise to his knees. Sherlock stops too and their eyes meet and hold.

Heat summers between them.

John climbs off of Sherlock but doesn’t go far. There will be explanations later… many, many explanations. Right now they have better things to do with their mouths.

Sherlock leans in first but John closes the gap, his lips pressing against Sherlock's.

The kiss is tender, sweet and perfect.

It’s an odd curse but John can’t resent it. It brought them together.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @gizmotrinket221 on [twitter](https://twitter.com/gizmotrinket221) and TheArtOne on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/theartone/)
> 
> Subscribe to me for my next story, an omegaverse dragon!John au and any other little drabbles I get sidetracked with


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